Tuesday, November 27, 2007

33

That's what I'm turning at the end of the week. And to tell you the truth, I'm not that cool with it.

30, I was OK with. (I was still in the doorway to the 20s.)

31, I was not. (Doorway slammed shut.)

32 was fine. (Resignation to the early 30s.)

33...not so much. (Beginning of "mid-30s".)

It appears to be an every other year type of thing. And of course it boils down to one simple factor: I don't want to be getting older. Any of those milestones that I now perceive as "getting older" are those that I don't particularly care for. Who does, really? Slower metabolism, aches and pains, settling body. I don't really see an upside.

I suppose you could call it a mid-life crisis, but since I don't have the money to afford a sports car or maintain a young, trophy girlfriend I refuse to use the term.

I suppose getting older doesn't necessarily need to be a bad thing, and I'm sure for a lot of people it's not. But sometimes it feels to me that I didn't actually "leave it all on the field" through my 20s. It's almost like I feel there's some unfinished business of being a "young man" that I have yet to complete. And those are the types of things that start to seem more ridiculous as you get older and still try to do them.

I think maybe that's what's bugging me out a bit.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

That old girl, she just ain't what she used to be.

It seems like it gets harder being in a band the older you get. At least for me. And to be honest, I think it's largely just because of my personality. I understand that the older you get, the more responsibilties you have, the more that encroaches upon your ability to do what you want. And when you multiply that by four people or five people or however many it takes to make up a band, and you throw in schedules, work, personalities, expectations, etc. that it's just never going to be what you expect. It's never going to be exactly what you want.

The question that begs, of course, is what do I want?

And the answer: As much as I can tell, I want it to be like it was.

Perhaps I'm looking at the past through rose colored glasses, but the memories of my first band are mostly good ones. (And since all the members of that band read this blog, perhaps you can tell me if I'm wrong here.) But what I remember the most is that youtful exuberance for playing. Back then it was new and it was awesome. It seemed like that's what I wanted to do most of the time. Never mind that I'm 15 years better now, it just seemed more fun back then. Rehearsing, playing gigs, jamming, it was all just....well, not to overuse a point, fun.

And it just seems hard, if not impossible, to recreate that. To recapture it. What would be fun for me---a few gigs a month, maybe a couple of rehearsals/jams a week---what I want, might not be what others want or have time for. All too often life intrudes on those things you'd like to do.

I realize this sounds pretty negative, but fear not. I'll keep on trucking along with it, because it doesn't feel to me that stopping is an option. And those times where the rehearsals go well, the gigs rock, and everyone is on the same page...well those are worth any amount of frustrations you have to go through along the way.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Something doing the right thing isn't necessarily doing the best thing

That's the thought that you take away from the end of Gone Baby Gone. At least, it's the thought that I took away from it.

Gone Baby Gone, if you don't know, is a film from the novel by Dennis Lehane (author of Mystic River), directed by Ben Affleck, and starring younger brother Casey Affleck. I know what you're thinking, "Two Afflecks connected with one movie? Oof!" But stick with me here, because this was an excellent film.

Set in Boston, Gone Baby Gone is a mystery. A young girl goes missing, and Casey Affleck's private eye character is called by the aunt and uncle in to expand the police investigation. The reason being is because he's "from the neighborhood" (the neigborhood being Dorchester), and people that would not talk to the police might talk to him. I don't want to go too much into the story, because doing so would obviously entail some spoilers. Needless to say, as a mystery, there's the premise, following the trail, some red herrings and plot twists, and the eventual unraveling of the crime. Mysteries can be complicated in the details but in general aren't very complex creatures at their core.

I do want to discuss some other aspects of the film however. The only thing I've read from Lehane was Mystic River. I've always meant to check out more, as I've herad good things, but just haven't gotten around to it yet. Not having read the book, I can't speak to the origianl source material, I can only base my review of the film on the merits of what it presented. And as such its a very brave, and dark, and....raw? film. Lehane is a Boston area native, and so is Affleck, and this film may just be the best "Boston" film I've seen. You recognize the locations, and more impotrantly the people. For better or worse, (with perhaps the exception of Morgan Freeman, who is pretty much always just Morgan Freeman), these characters are Boston folk. The attitude, and yes the accents, are so familiar that for the first time seeing a film set in my home city I feel like I could actually be watching news footage and not a fictional account.

I believe this is Affleck's first time in the directing chair, but you wouldn't know it. I read another review that called him "confident" behind the camera. That's an apt term He did not make a film that was easy. As stated above, he made one that was brave. By the end of this film, every main character's life, (with the possible exception of one) has been changed for the worse. This is depsite a "happy" ending, and speaks to the title of this blog. Casey Affleck's character has a choice near the end of the film to do the "right" thing and the "best" thing. He chooses the right thing, and while that provides the "happy" ending, big brother Ben's directing tells you that sometimes doing the right thing is doing the wrong thing.

The other standout of this film is the acting, especially of a few people in particular. The family of the missing girl could have been plucked straight from the streets of Dorchester rather than from a list on a casting director's computer. Ed Harris was excellent as the grizzeled, veteran cop. Morgan Freeman was fine, as usual. Michelle Monaghan was a little pointless. But Casey Affleck....holy crap! At times it can be a little hard to take him serious because he does look and sound like a younger, and smaller, Ben. And of course, his most memorable role up until this point has been as one of the doofus brothers in the Ocean's Eleven films. But he pretty much owns in this movie, to the point that I can't imagine anyone else in the role now. Between this and his role in The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, which I hear he's also excellent in, it looks like little brother could possibly overtake big brother in the acting department.

Which is fine by me, if big brother wants to maybe do more work behind the camera instead. If the future were to hold more "Directed by Ben, starring Casey" films, I'll be there to see them.