That old girl, she just ain't what she used to be.

It seems like it gets harder being in a band the older you get. At least for me. And to be honest, I think it's largely just because of my personality. I understand that the older you get, the more responsibilties you have, the more that encroaches upon your ability to do what you want. And when you multiply that by four people or five people or however many it takes to make up a band, and you throw in schedules, work, personalities, expectations, etc. that it's just never going to be what you expect. It's never going to be exactly what you want.

The question that begs, of course, is what do I want?

And the answer: As much as I can tell, I want it to be like it was.

Perhaps I'm looking at the past through rose colored glasses, but the memories of my first band are mostly good ones. (And since all the members of that band read this blog, perhaps you can tell me if I'm wrong here.) But what I remember the most is that youtful exuberance for playing. Back then it was new and it was awesome. It seemed like that's what I wanted to do most of the time. Never mind that I'm 15 years better now, it just seemed more fun back then. Rehearsing, playing gigs, jamming, it was all just....well, not to overuse a point, fun.

And it just seems hard, if not impossible, to recreate that. To recapture it. What would be fun for me---a few gigs a month, maybe a couple of rehearsals/jams a week---what I want, might not be what others want or have time for. All too often life intrudes on those things you'd like to do.

I realize this sounds pretty negative, but fear not. I'll keep on trucking along with it, because it doesn't feel to me that stopping is an option. And those times where the rehearsals go well, the gigs rock, and everyone is on the same page...well those are worth any amount of frustrations you have to go through along the way.